Cheryl Sosnowski on Clarity Power & Follow Through
All right. So today, on the EntireLife Series, I have Cheryl Sosnowski. Did I pronounce that right?
You did. Yes.
Awesome. So I'm really excited to have you on the podcast today. I showed you all of the cool stuff that we're doing with the EntireTask and BitClout. And you were like, yeah, that's really exciting. So tell us a little bit about yourself, how you got involved with coaching, and, as a business owner yourself, what sort of lifestyle that's been able to give you?
Get to know Cheryl
Wow. Yeah. I love my lifestyle. It's the best. Gosh, where to start? What got me into coaching? You know, it was kind of accidental. I actually swore I would never be a coach or that I didn't need a coach. I thought the whole industry was kind of ridiculous, to be honest with you. Until I was gifted a coaching session by a friend from an amazing coach, who had me have more breakthroughs about myself in an hour than I had had on my own, in 20 years of personal development work. So I was like, oh, maybe there is something to this coaching thing. So I worked with her for a while and, as I just went on my own development path, it kind of became --people started just asking, what are you doing? How did you --how are you so happy? How are you so peaceful? How are you always so joyful? How are you creating this life? And it just kind of --I was like, well, I guess I better take some coaching classes. And so I actually went through a --I approach it from a spiritual point of view because I'm very spiritual. So I do spiritual psychology coaching with people, and I go through USM and a couple of other programs that I've done.
And I just love it because I feel like if you work on the spiritual -which for me, spiritual is all of the invisible forces that shape our lives (your energy body, and your energetics, and those kinds of things), that you can change everything. And I love what I do. The lifestyle it has given me is, you could say, complete freedom, on the one hand, but that freedom doesn't mean that I don't work as much as I used to. It's that I work now doing something that I love doing. So I really never feel like I'm at work. I absolutely love what I do. So I definitely work more hours, but it's working with a purpose and with an intention, and it's for me. And it's able to take off. I'm leaving Friday to go on vacation. And for Friday through Tuesday. And just like, yep, we're going. You don't have to check with anybody. Just, yep. We're going on vacation. So I love the lifestyle for sure. Yeah.
That's awesome. And then there's a certain amount of satisfaction that you get when you know you're really helping people. Right?
Does not feel good?
Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, there's nothing. Honestly, nothing, nothing, nothing, makes me feel --it's not even happy. That's not even the right word. I think the word is more humbled, almost. Like wow. It is being used in a way that really impacts somebody's life to see something they didn't see before.
And, you know, Dr. Dyer said, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And to be able to be the catalyst for that for somebody, that makes them do that 180 in their life, is just amazing to me.
Totally. Totally. So actually talking about that, where you're talking about being the catalyst for that, let's talk about clarity. So how do you, either for yourself or for your clients, how do you get clarity?
Cheryl on Clarity
So my own personal system that I work with and then I work with my clients is, I have what I call, my daily excellence quotient. And so, before I even roll out of bed, I pull to mind, to the front of my mind, the vision that I'm holding for myself. Whether it's a goal that I'm working toward or whether it's a big picture vision that I sometimes have no idea how it's going to happen, but I just see that end. And then I just ask and greet myself with the day and say, what can I do today that will make this day excellent and drive me toward my vision? And then I make a note of what that is. I get up. I have my morning time. I write those things down that I want to accomplish. Check-in with their alignment with my vision, with my goals that I have set up for myself, and do those things. And then, at the end of the day, I do the same thing. I do another check-in. What did I do that was excellent today? And for me, that excellence is always; what anonymous kindness have I done for someone today? That I don't tell anybody else about. It's between that other person and me. What have I done for myself that's fun? Fun and play are so important to me every day. I'm like; it doesn't have to be a special occasion to laugh and play. I'd make sure that that's part of my day. And just different exercising. Making sure I'm drinking enough water and eating healthy meals. Getting things accomplished that I want to get accomplished, that drive me toward my goals, that move me forward. And we get so overwhelmed with the big picture that we forget; it's in the many, monotonous details of the day that drive you forward one step at a time. So that's how I structure it with that clarity. And learning to really say no to things, especially to myself.
Well, that's one of the reasons that I made EntireTask is because you want to connect what you're working on today with that long-term vision. And so, for me, one of the reasons that I made it was because I can go down a rabbit hole really quickly. It's just like, oh! Ooh! Let's go there! And so what I did in creating EntireTask was basically --now I don't do anything until I put it in there, and I let it tell me if that's the most important thing to do. Because I might think it's important, but I'd forgotten about this other thing that was more important in my life. And now it's right there, and I can go through, and I know, oh, exactly, okay. Well, today, this is the most important thing. Or this week, these are the most important things. And so it gives me a lot more clarity that way to know what is really important; because we do kind of get into this shiny object syndrome. Especially, you know, I'm guilty.
Me too! Saying no. The biggest part of saying no to things is saying no to me. No!
Exactly! A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And it's funny; I was looking back the other day on something that I had put in my EntireTask. It was a year ago, and I had put it three years out, and then I moved it to a year. And then, last January -which is only like six months from when I put it in there- I did that thing, which was going to Puerto Rico.
Right? So that's the power of you putting something out there in the universe. Right. And so I kind of think of my EntireTask is like my universal driving machine. It kind of informs the universe of what I'm up to. And so maybe the universe is looking at it, I don't know. But it's weird. All of a sudden, things happen, and you're like, oh! These opportunities that I thought were like way out there, all of a sudden, whoa! Okay, cool. I can do that now. Not three years from now. Oh, I love that. I love that.
So, power. What about power? Because we all have those days when things aren't going, right. You know? The way that I explain it -I've explained it before on the podcast- is kind of like when you're paddling out in a wave. The ocean is pulling you back, and it's not going with you. And if you struggle against the ocean, you're just going to tire yourself out. It's not going to happen. But if you just wait --and that's kind of how I feel it. When things aren't going right, I'm just like, pause.
Let go. And then, when I feel it starting to come back, it's like the power. Right? And boom! You can just go with it. And you're fresh. You're not like struggled out. And so, how do you, for yourself, give yourself power when you're having one of those days? Where it's just like, things aren't going right. Or with your clients. Everybody has bad days. How do you find willpower?
Cheryl on Power
So that is a great question, Marni. I'm so good at willpower. So I love that you asked me that question. And I think that willpower is --I love that wave analogy. And especially --I lived in Hawaii for a long time. So I can totally feel what that feels like to paddle out on that wave and when that ocean starts to pull you back. So there are two things, two ways that I approach that. So one is, are you meeting resistance from outside of you? That is, maybe a sign that you're doing the wrong things? Maybe it's not the right time. Maybe you're forcing something to happen. Maybe you need to reevaluate how you're going about it. So in the case of a big wave surfer, you're not going to paddle out on the way by yourself. You're going to hire a jet ski to pull you out there. So is it something external that's causing this resistance? And if so, do I need to wait? Do I need to get help? Do I need to find a better way to do this? If it's internal resistance, that's an invitation to push through. And then that's where all of those other things that you do that you enjoy doing, or that you've created enough self-love and self-care and fun and playtime in your life, then now you have those reserves to power through when you just have to paddle through the wave. Because there's no other way, and you know that that resistance in you could be a fear that you're bumping up against. Or it could be like, you're about to jump off the ledge into a whole new realm, and you don't know what that's gonna look like. So for me, it's looking --is this powerful force requiring something outside that needs to change or is it inside of me? That I just need to buck up and step over that edge and trust that the universe has my back. That I'm living in alignment with this purpose. So for me, it's different ways of looking at it. And then, of course, if you're just completely burned out, you're completely having a day, you're completely just melting down, then I am a giant advocate of self-care.
Walk away. I'm not an advocate for you know, like everybody jokes, go have a glass of wine. Or go do this. Find something healthy that you can do to replace it. It's find something with self-care. Find something that you visit. Go for a walk. Put on a song that you really love and dance to. Sing really loud! So in your car and scream, just go AHHHHH!.
Or another thing that I really love to do that completely works is, allow yourself to feel how you're feeling and be totally utterly ridiculous about it. Take it to the most ridiculous extreme you could possibly take it to and allow yourself to be ridiculous and have that meltdown that you're having in your brain; because we give voice to that feeling. And I'll give a perfect example of this. I was having a complete meltdown about work and all these deadlines, and all this stuff I had going on, and a client thing I had going on, and it was just too much. I was just at this point where I'm just going to cry and be upset. And my husband (my poor husband) got the brunt of it. And I said I don't need you to do anything. I just need you to listen to me for like, five minutes. And so I just cried. And I was like, I'm going to quit all of this. I'm just going to sell all my stuff. I'm going to get a job at the post office. I'm going to stop being nice to people. I just allowed myself to be totally ridiculous. I was like, I'm going to be the worst post office worker ever. Someone's going to ask me for stamps, and I'm going to bend down and take five minutes before I stand back up. I mean, to the point where it just became hilarious that I was finally laughing about how ridiculous I was being.
So I feel like there's a lot of power in just letting ourselves feel how we feel to a completely ridiculous extreme. That it just drains yourself of it, because you see how crazy it is and how ludicrous you're being. And that loses its power. So you have power for what you want to do.
Exactly! I call it allowing that little Marni, the little Marni who wants her way, for her to have her little meltdown. And then once she's had her meltdown, big Marni can come in and say, Hey. It's okay. I'll take care of this. But if I don't let her have her moment, then, you know, she fights me and fights me. And then I've got this internal like, (frustrated noise).
And that voice in our head and those feelings in our head, it starts to take on a life of their own, and they get so big. So when you just let them out and let yourself be ridiculous and --I've done it with another thing, giving a talk in front of a big group of people. I was terrified, and my husband was like, what are you terrified of? And I'm like, I'm terrified that they're going to hate me. And he's like, well, what's going to happen if they hate you? Like, they're gonna boo! And they're going to throw tomatoes at me! I started playing the whole worst-case scenario.
As if people bring tomatoes to talks!
Then I've got all that fear out, and I was like, okay, I'm ready. I'm good now.
That's great. That's great.
I have my clients do the same thing. Just allow yourself to be completely and utterly ridiculous without judging yourself. Just let it out, and then it goes away. It's energy. Just let it move. Yeah.
Exactly. That's the thing that you gotta let the block out. And if you don't let the block out, it's like it sits there, festers, and gets bigger and bigger. Really cool. I love that. And nobody's talked about that on the podcast so far. So you're the first one. That's, and that's epic. I love it. Awesome. So what about follow through? Now you've got your clarity. Now you've got your big girl pants on, and you've got power. What do you do to follow through?
Cheryl on Follow-Through
I am the checklist queen. I love checklists. I love crossing things off of my checklist. It makes me feel so satisfied. It's such a little sense of accomplishment. Just (checkmark sound) done. I find that to be very gratifying. And, you know, I feel like you start to develop (when you follow through with things), you start to develop integrity. And it's integrity in yourself, and it feels good. You learn to trust yourself; you learn to trust your own word. You learn to trust your own integrity. And integrity means something's in alignment. It doesn't break, right? If this board is in integrity, it's not going this way or that way; you could trust it. And so, I feel like we build that same energy and feeling in ourselves when we follow through. Whether you're following through with a word that you said you'd keep, or you're following through with a project you said you'd do. Or my worst thing that I hate doing is anything regarding bookkeeping. I hate it, but I follow through with it because it has to be done. And I know that if I let it pile up, I'm going to hate it, even more, when I have a mountain of it to do than if I just do it when it's a little bit. So yeah. Follow-through becomes fun. It kind of becomes a game. And you know that it's moving you one step closer to where you want to be. One step closer to the mark. And you learn to trust in your own self and trust in your own abilities that you start to have your own back and things. Like, oh yeah, I got this. I can do this.
Yeah. One of the things that I'm doing in EntireTask in the projects area is kind of like giving you a look back. Because what I found for myself was, if I looked back six months ago and I look at the stuff (or a year ago), and I look at the stuff I got done, it gives me more confidence that I can go forward and do this other stuff. Because if I look back at that, I thought, Ooh. I couldn't do that. And then I do it, and when I look back, and I'm, that really wasn't that hard. So why can't I do this project? It absolutely does give me that confidence to say, Hey, I thought that was hard, and I did that. So why can't I do this right?
Yeah. And if you want to play a big game in life, it's gonna demand a lot of you. You can't expect to play a big game and show up small. So you have to be a person who follows through and trusts yourself, even if it's little things like starting out small. If a person wants to --who's that guy, who's like the now world-renowned fitness dude? He used to be super overweight, and he said, I just started doing one push-up a day. I was like if I can do one push of a day --and that's really what it is. Right? I did one today. I did two tomorrow. I did three the next day. And that check back like you just said. Like when you look back --because we forget how we've done. And so I think weekly check-ins with myself. At the end of the week, I check-in. I'm like, wow. Look at all this stuff I did this week. Yay. I'm so proud of myself. I got this done and that done. Try not to carry it forward into the next week.
Yeah, exactly, exactly. And start off with a positive point of view. That's for sure. That's great. Okay. So now I know that you probably have a great gift for our listeners here today. Tell us about your gift, and we'll make sure that we link to it below.
Awesome. So I am a UCLA- trained mindfulness trainer. I have a ton of free stuff on my website pertaining to mindfulness and mindset, and art. So art is so good for you. It's the right and left hemispheres of your brain. One of my favorite articles said, "art is great for you, even if you suck at it. So color or do something. It's great for your brain. So on my website, I have a free book that is, "a hundred practical mindfulness practices that people can do anywhere". So download that, start applying them. Things you can do when you're driving. Things you can do when you're at the grocery store. So that you can start to cultivate more attention and more awareness and get a lot done in a focused attentive hour.
That's awesome. That's awesome. And when you were just talking about doing art, oh man. I'm excited that you're coming over and jumping onto BitClout. Cause there's a whole bunch of people over there who are doing these NFTs and things.
Isn't that exciting?!
Cheryl on BitClout
SO exciting! I've been learning about those on Clubhouse. I've been popping into some rooms to learn about NFT. Cause it's like, this is so amazing—this whole future of technology. I love AI for good and technology for good, and I believe it can create such an amazing world. So yeah, the NFT world is incredible. Yeah.
Yeah, and that's what I'm doing with EntireTask. The whole reason I'm doing this is that I want to empower --like our quote (our headline for EntireTask) is, "helping people who are going places get there." And the thing is that sure, sometimes you don't need help. You don't need anything. You just need a pencil and a piece of paper. Right? Sometimes having the technology to help you, like those times when we say we forget stuff or we're not clear about what it is that we want to work on, technology can help us with that. And that's kind of where I come in. And then you might be going, oh, you know, I'm doing really good. But if I had a coach, I might even do a little bit better. And so that's why I wanted to bring the coaches in; because my personal belief is that people can influence the world far more than governments or businesses can.
Most of the incredible things that have happened in the world were from single individuals. Einstein, even what Elon Musk is doing. All of these individuals had these crazy ideas, and they wanted to really make an impact on the world. I want to empower that.
For sure, and that's what I see you guys, as the coaches are doing. I can do the technology side. They can bring their ideas of where they want to go, and we're just here to help them get there.
For sure, and my passion is helping people access, expand, and elevate their own consciousness. When you can do that, you can do anything.
I love that. Love it. I knew that there was a good reason to catch up with you. I was like, that's my kinda girl.
So glad you did. Thank you, Marni. I appreciate you so much and the work that you're doing so much.
I'm really; I'm just, I'm so excited to learn about all of this new stuff. Just yesterday -I'll give you an example- there was a thing where BitClout kind of went down a little bit. The admin was available, and so crazy things were going on. And then I went on to this other node, which is a BitClout node as well, and I was able to tell everybody, Hey, the main chain is fine; even though the weird stuff is happening over here on this node, the main chain is fine. So we can be calm. We don't have to freak out. But what I got out of that -and I'm going to post a video about this in a little bit- was that, when I went over to this other node, all of my followers came with me. All of my content came with me, and the people I follow were on this other node. So the thing to understand is that with being BitClout powered, what that means is that if I post something on our node (on EntireTask's node), it goes out onto the main (chain). It's all one database. And I just like, wow. You know, you think about some of those people who are deeply platformed on YouTube or Facebook or whatever, for whatever reason. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. But with the database being one single database --so let's say you're on a database (or on a node), and you don't jive with those people. They could cut you off of that node, but there are other nodes that you could go to, and everything's gonna move with you. So the power for the people who are actually creating the content --I was just like, wow. That's magic.
It really is. You already know how I feel about free speech. Maybe I just grew up in a different generation where I'm like if you don't like what someone else is saying, turn the channel. It's not that hard. I really honestly believe Marni, though, that, as a species, we are changing our frequency. And we are literally changing as a species, and this planet is changing its vibration. We are changing with it. And as we do that, you're exactly right. We're just watching an old system crumble away while a new system is built. And I believe in a system of synarchy where you have people who are --imagine a society of people who are awakened to their own divinity and their own greatness. That you honor and respect that in other people just as much. And it does away with the need for anybody to tell you what to do because you're personally responsible for your own behavior and what you're creating in the world.
Well, so this is another thing that I really liked about BitClout is that -like on other networks, like for instance on YouTube, not so much Facebook, but like Twitter- you could be anonymous. And so, people would just spew vitriol because they were protected by their anonymity. And so what I really like even more so is that there's a dollar value attached to you. So you dang well better be socially acceptable to some degree. Right? You have to watch what you say. You can't just --and so you think about it a little bit more. And also, you need to remember that when I say something when I post something, this is posted for all time and eternity. It's not like Snapchat. It's the opposite of Snapchat. This is like...
Think before you type.
I said this. So yeah, it's a whole different thing. And so you think about it a little bit. And then you also kind of think about it from other people's point of view. Well, how could this come off?
It's inviting mindfulness into your posting and thinking before you hit enter.
It's exactly what it is. It's like, oh. Should I say that? No, maybe there's a, another way to say it. So I've had that. I'm a little bit socially awkward because I have a higher IQ. And so it makes me kind of a little bit socially weird sometimes. I'll say things so bluntly. I don't mean it to be anything, but it's just like, that's the way my brain works. So I'm like typing something, and I'm like, Wait a second. How does that sound?
That's hard with words anyway because they're purely open to interpretation from the point of view of view of the other person. The golden rule is so simple. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. You know? And that doesn't mean that you're thinking about other people; that means that karma will come back and get you. So everything you do to somebody will happen to you eventually. So think about how you're treating other people.
Oh yeah. That karma. There are definitely times in my life where I'm like, I'm not doing anything cause I'm just gonna kick your butt.
Exactly. Exactly. Mind what you say. And I've even had good karma. Not too long ago, I had just this great meditation and this great morning, and I was like, oh. I think I'm there. I think I'm enlightened. I think this is it. And karma was just like, oh yeah? Let's get you stuck behind every idiot driver on the planet, and every red light, and every possible thing that could go wrong with it. After like 30 minutes of driving, I was like, yeah, never mind! I take it back. Can I just go back to my normal, pleasant drive to work now? Thank you.
Oh my gosh. This has been a real pleasure. Thank you so much,
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Awesome. We'll see more of you in the future.